I absolutely LOVE my job! I feel so blessed to have a job that is AWESOME. Before you get jealous, I must tell you, anything AWESOME comes at a high price. I have a deep struggle that I don't like to admit publicly. But in the midst of God wanting to cleanse me from toxins that are keeping me from a vital and healthy spiritual life, he wouldn't let me shake admitting this struggle.
The past few days I have sensed a great fear inside me. I didn't know why, or where exactly it was coming from. When I notice somethings not right, I go to the scripture as soon as I can, and I read and pray, and pray and read. Then, "low and behold" this morning as I taught the Bible lesson to the children I am responsible for at church this verse, "Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD." Psalm 27:14 Then I had the kids help reenact Exodus 32. I love when God teaches me, as I hear myself teaching the kids. When I hear God through my own words, that's when I know how BIG God really is, and how much he longs to teach me every single nugget of truth from HIS words, and thankfully not mine. I heard God, not me.
In Exodus 32 the Israelites were waiting for Moses to come back down from the mountain where God had given him the 10 commandments. He was up there for 40 days and 40 nights. We all know, they couldn't wait that long for a God to worship, so what did they do? Created their own God out of their own possessions. JUST as the words came out of my mouth, it was truly a lightbulb moment for me from the mouth of 4th grade girl. It went like this:
Me: "When you aren't patient enough to wait on God..." and before I could finish she said "that's SIN." I KNOW this. I teach this, and yet today instead of thinking about all the ways God speaks to these children through his word and how is this story relevant to them. I came home and read it for myself over and over and realized how very often I don't have the patience to wait on God. Then I had to admit to myself when I don't I am SINNING. I wanted to go deeper, I prayed to God this afternoon. Reveal my sin when I don't wait. What is the root? And I discovered for me, it is FEAR. I actually admitted out loud, I am FEARFUL sometimes to wait, because I am FEARFUL I won't get my job done, or FEARFUL of what others are saying if I'm not constantly doing, going, moving, producing. Am I really fearful God isn't faithful, NO I know God is faithful. I have been believing a lie, and in that lie to myself, I have sinned.
I am ready to DETOX this fear once and for all. These detox smoothies aren't just a one time deal. Sometimes we may have to drink one specific one several days in a row, maybe even months to shake one of those deep rooted toxins that went unnoticed by ourselves.
Today's Detox FABULOUS FEARS Smoothie:
1. A big scoop of WAITING on the Lord
2. While your Waiting for that smoothie to soften:
3. Be BRAVE and
4. Be COURAGEOUS and most importantly
5. PATIENTLY WAIT, by never losing hope, even if God has not answered your requests in 40 days and 40 nights, still don't sin by creating your own answer to your own prayer. What God has to answer your prayers is so much better than any idea or beautiful thing we could dream up. So do NOT fear, your prayer won't be answered or that God didn't hear it. He will answer it, in His time and in His way.
HUGS, SJ
No comments:
Post a Comment